Enter Slimly Charged With Offence

Lord Slimly: As I've said to you already, she was merely having a fainting fit.
Lady Mishap: Yes, I know you've said but what I would like to know is exactly
what you did say to her to make her faint so well.
Lord Slimly: I don't know. I don't know what effect I have on people. Sometimes I
don't remember what I've said even when I'm saying it.
Lady Mishap: Sadly I can believe everything you say. I know you all too well.
Lord Slimly: But do say you'll still have me. I do so desperately need someone to
have me if only to keep me in check.
Lady Mishap: You put it so romanticaly. Yes, the wedding is still well and truly on
even if the groom IS a little off.
Lord Slimly: I should have a best before date stuck on me stating when I'm to be
snapped up.
Lady Mishap: Don't worry, I'll extend your running life a little longer, I've plenty of
plans for you and I to undertake together.
Lord Slimly: Undertake? Sounds ominos.
Lady Mishap: No pleasurable pursuits. You do like climbing don't you?
Lord Slimly: I like to climb the social ladder, tho I don't feel I could go much further.
Lady Mishap: I'm talking about Ben Nevis.
Lord Slimly: I don't believe I've met him. Is he in the House of Commons?
Lady Mishap: Stands over you like a colossus anyway.
Butler Burnett: Darling...!
Lord Slimly: Not by my invitation.
Lady Mishap: No mine. I invited her.
Butler Burnett: Bell!
Darling Bell: You're speeding up, Burnett.
Butler Burnett: Thank you. I'm currently under elocution lessons.
Darling Bell: That's nice. Lady Mishap?
Lady Mishap: Now, Bell. I wanted to know if it wasn't something in my house that
caused the fainting fit. I do scrimp and save on the air conditioning to save the Old
Masters, their being unaccustomed to the lite of day.
Darling Bell: O dear no, it was one of the sort. I fear I had been dancing myself to
distraction all morning. Chumley Lawnly had set out a Pimms and Jazz on the grounds
of Whiff Manor and I'd been jiving and what-not all morning before I came here.
Lord Slimly: Sounds like the mystery is solved then. Call off the detective.
Lady Mishap: Yes, it is. I should have known my man couldn't have reduced an
admirer to a fainting fit.
Darling Bell: Realy?
Lord Slimly: How so?
Lady Mishap: Because he never did so to me and I like him best of all.
Darling Bell: Ah, bless.
Lord Slimly: Yes, thank you for LIKEing me SO much.